All the single ladies


by mariela torres February 04, 2017

I walked into a boutique today dripped in Valentines decor. I thought holy shit I don't have a Valentine this year… It'll be the first time in over 14 years or so that I am single during this "holiday." I unhappily thought what am I going to do on love day all alone? Then shook that glum thought out of my head and said out loud “I’ll have a date with me, spoil my damn self, I don't need a date!” (But if you're a handsome, 6 foot tall, stylish, creative, funny, open minded, tattooed, spiritual being and like long walks on the beach and want to buy me a steak I’m down… Kidddiiing)

It also got me thinking about being single in general and how we sometimes look at it in kind of a negative way. I caught myself doing it a few weeks ago while I was visiting back home. I went to dinner with 5 of my very close girl friends. 1 is married, 2 recently got engaged and the other 2 are in serious relationships I felt bummed knowing they'd all be going home to their dudes and I’d be going home alone to watch reruns of GIRLS. Two of my friends noticed I wasn’t my confident self after I childishly pouted “I’m the only single one in the group” they both commented “Ugh we were single for a long time plus you were in a relationship for 10 years, remember?” I quickly snapped out of it. Them calling me out on my shit hit me I have been in relationships my entire adult life and for the first time I really, really am single and you know what I should really, really embrace it. I moved from San Diego to Los Angeles two months ago, the decision sparked after my long distance boyfriend didn't make the move to California as planned on top of that I was feeling extremely stagnant, deeply craving a change of scenery, and have never felt more ready than now to grow my business. So that was it, I decided to move and found a place to live literally the very next day in sunny Santa Monica, LA. I mean.. super meant to be right?! Although San Diego is two hours away and I have many friends out here I did make the move alone and spend most of my days entirely solo working out of coffee shops and my bedroom. I get a little lonely, yes but holy wow all this time in solitary is making me fall so in love with myself. For the first time in almost 15 years I am embracing the single life. I have become obsessed with bettering my mind, body and soul. I am determined on growing and expanding the amazing vision I have for myself and my brand. I feel like I have been given a blessing to focus 100% on me. 

If you are single and reading this, challenge yourself to take this time to figure you out. This is your opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize for a fucking thing. Direct all your energy on bettering yourself. Learn to be a wellness warrior. Live in gratitude, be a nice human, mediate, feed your body healthy food, hydrate, work out, read, write, celebrate small wins, travel, do anything that makes you happy and that is going to have a positive effect on your mind, body and soul. Learn that we are here to share our gift/passion with the world, if you don't know what that is take this time to figure it out. Put yourself at the top of your to do list every single day and the rest will fall into place.

 While in San Diego I also met up with a work colleague for coffee to discuss some future collaborations. She is awesome and a total boss but she’s the kind of girl that bitches and moans about how being single sucks and how all dudes are the same. The barista making my chai latte asked for my phone number I politely declined and sat down. She bursted out “This always happens, guys are always trying to date you!” I will admit my inbox is filled with dudes trying to holler but that’s the LAST thing on my mind right now ( unless again you're a handsome, 6 foot tall, stylish, creative, funny, open minded, tattooed, spiritual being and like long walks on the beach. Lol! ) I told her it was my energy. Not to boast but I give off rad, positive, energy and not just dudes but all people like that shit, jah feel. I went on to tell her that complaining and bitching isn’t going to get her a date. I mentioned that all she was doing was dispersing negative energy out ( guys suck ) and also coming from such a state of lack ( no good guys out there ) send good out, good comes in, send bad out, bad comes in. It's the law of the universe. 

I bring this up because I have learned that when you truly love yourself others vibe with that shit and want to be around you. One of the most powerful things you can do for you is to love yourself so much that you feel whole alone. You won’t need someone else to feel complete. If someone wants to be in your life cool if they don't cool. When you meet someone become detached to the outcome. Live in the moment and simply enjoy the person the universe has sent you. Theres no need to rush, If somethings meant to be, it'll happen in the right time with the right person. For now have a relationship with you, and know that you are love, you are peace, you are compassion, you are the universe. Cheers to being single, fabulous and not settling for anything less than magic! 

xoxo 




mariela torres
mariela torres

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