Don't be a fuckboy

by mariela torres March 09, 2017

I wrote this awhile ago and kept going back and fourth on whether or not to post it. I want all my blog posts to uplift and have a positive impact so I didn't want to seem like I was boy bashing then thought you know what these dudes need to be called out on their shit. Yesterday was International Women's Day so I thought what better day then today to post this. What sparked this blog post was this small but annoying interaction that happened to me a few weeks ago. A random guy I am not friends with on Facebook sent me eight messages all in a span of four days or so, it went like this; 

Dude - Good morning, beautiful
Me - no response  
Dude - Just wanted to ask if you wanted to go have sushi with me today 
Me - no response 
Dude - Do you have a boyfriend? I don't see any pictures of you with anyone 
Me - no response
Dude - Hello Mariela 
Me - no response
Dude - Hi 
Me - no response
Dude - Wanna do something crazy 
Me - no response
Dude - Hola mariela, como estas (naw, bro Spanish isn't going to work either) 
Me - no response 
Dude - (sends picture holding a stack of money) 

Really dude, you think I'm suddenly going to respond to your messages after you send me a picture of you holding some money?! (unimpressed eye roll) Let me tell you something fellas, a real woman isn't going to be impressed by your money, and if she is she'll leave your ass for the next sucka that comes around with more of it. Money only impresses lazy girls. If you need money to get her she isn't the one, bro. You might think this stupid interaction isn't a big deal but it offended me so much that I wanted to write about it, it also got me thinking about other situations that left me feeling dumfounded so I decide to create a don't be a fuck boy blog post... Your welcome.   

Have you ever heard the phrase men are the new bitches? Well this next story is the epitome of what that phrase means. The first week I moved to LA, I got invited out to hang with a friend and his crew, being new to the city I thought it'd be a good opportunity to go out and meet some new people, so I went. I was introduced to a guy that was part of the group we were hanging with, I briefly told him why I moved to LA, mentioned my brand, gave him a business card and told him to buy something for his mom (lol) this interaction was very friendly meaning no flirting at all and lasted no more than one minute. The very next day he calls me not just once but three times and sends two text messages, first saying "Hello Mariela, this is _____" second text was a 1 minute video of him doing box jumps at the gym (I swear you can't make this shit up) I obviously ignored it and just laughed it off, the next day he calls me again, the following day he calls me two more times then later that night around 1am sends me a one word text, saying "whore" my initial reaction was to call the fucker up and yell at him for calling me that, thankfully the zen warrior in me realized he wasn't worth loosing my peace over. While writing this, I got reminded of something I witnessed this past weekend. I had parked in front of a bar, as I got closer to my car I noticed a guy outside smoking a cigarette and a girl walking by, he reaches out towards her and says "you should come in here" she ignores him and keeps walking away he then yells out, "bitch you're ugly anyways!" I can still picture her open mouthed, dazed, confused face. I get it dudes, rejection fucking sucks but that doesn't give you the right to lash out and call us names. When someone isn't interested in you have some respect, remember your ego is not your amigo and you name calling and saying offensive things after being turned down doesn't make you a tough guy it makes you a little bitch. 

Another situation that happened this past weekend comes to mind. I ran into a dude I met through a mutual friend a few weeks ago after 5 minutes or so of catching up he reaches for my lower back, I quickly move away and give him the 'Wtf are you doing look' he says "I wanted to see if you were wearing underwear" (I was wearing white jeans) I mean... Wtf, mate?? How do you think that's ok to do or say?! I won't say what I told him but let's just say he won't be saying hello next time we run into each other. I told a couple of girlfriends what happened and they both said they'd been through similar situations too! One friend said she was walking home after dinner, she was wearing a sheer blouse and some random guy walking past her taps her arm and says "I'd love to motorboat those" while staring at her breast. She said she wanted to say something back to him but she just stood there stunned and ashamed for something she's didn't even do. For some reason it reminded me of that time around 2014 when some schools were banning girls from wearing shorts because they didn't want boys to be distracted by bare legs... Oh how that shit pisses me off. Women should be able to wear whatever the fuck they want without being worried about how some idiot acting like a 10 year old boy discovering an erection for the first time is going to behave. Boy's, feel free to have your "locker room talk" but don't fucking talk to us this way and think it's totally normal. It's not normal and it's completely disrespectful and fucking downright offensive. I know you wouldn't want some random guy talking to your mother or daughter that way, right?! Think about that next time you decide to howl out obscene remarks. 

 I have so many personal stories I wanted to share like the time I felt so uneasy being followed by this guy around the mall that I stayed in the women's bathroom (for what seemed like an eternity) till he walked away or the time some guy grabbed both my arms to try and kiss me after 5 minutes of talking (we had mutual friends and were sitting at the same table) I can go on and on with my own and girlfriends experiences but deleted and edited it all out because again I don't want to boy bash but I do want to bring a few things to your attention, dudes...

We get gawked at by the time we start wearing training bras, we get honked at and yelled out of moving cars, we get stared at awkwardly making us feel so uncomfortable that we leave, we get touched by random guys walking down the street, we get yelled at for being a 'stuck up bitch' because we ignore your pointless comments, we get countless messages by the creepiest of guys on social media, we get walked up to nearly everyday, yes everyday by some dude trying to holler at us. It's fucking hard being a women in this world for so many reasons and the last thing we need is you making us feel uncomfortable because you aren't able to control your mouth and your ----. 

I write this because I want to be a voice for other women, sadly we are trained to ignore guys whenever they decide to act a fool and I'm here to say no, we demand respect! I am not a mother but I have nieces and other little girls in my life that I love and can't imagine a guy disrespecting them the way I have been disrespected in the past. Read this quote and it brought me to tears "As for my girls I'll raise them to think they can breath fire" I think ALL women need to feel this way, empowered and respected. Dudes, wake up! We walk the same planet... "We share the same water in our veins, air in our lungs and dust in our bones, we are two petals on the same flower of life, my friend." Treat us like it. 


mariela torres
mariela torres


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