by mariela torres November 27, 2017

With 2018 around the corner in less than 35 days, one year mark living in LA in 3 days and my momma's 2 year death anniversary tomorrow I wanted to reflect on 2017. This year has been by far the utmost in independent, spiritual, emotional and mental growth. I also learned to let go of people, situations, old habits, old beliefs, and anything or anyone not energetically vibing on the same frequency as me.

Although San Diego (hometown) is just a 2.5 hour drive away I grew tremendously in taking the leap in moving here. The universe helped me with this decision instantly. I decided to move and found a place to live literally the very next day. I read this the other day "NY is hard on the body, LA is hard on the soul." You have to be a strong mother*cker to live here. It's massive with over 3,900,000 people living here yet you can feel so lonesome at times. LA is enchanting though, it completely put a spell over me. I always say it's where the dreamers live and you can feel the magic of their dreams roaming through out the city. (I'm cheesy) The first month of living here I honestly did nothing but wander. I went to every beach, museum, hike, garden, rooftop bar, and hidden LA secret spot. I did a lot of solo adventuring, even going to clubs alone a few times ending up at these preposterous mansions parties with random people I had just met. This city completely welcomed me in, I have never felt like I belonged, and I finally feel that here. 

During the first week of being here I asked the universe / god to show me a hummingbird to let me know I made the right decision in moving here. I look up and immediately see this little guy flittering right above me * teary eyed. This entire year has been that way for me. It's like the universe and my momma are directly talking to me in code. Last month I spent 10 glorious days in Northern California. Not sure if it's all the Humblot canabis I was intaking but that trip magnified my already connectedness with the universe / god. When my mom passed away I had this deep awareness of how short life is. That same realization overwhelmed me while I walked alone, deep in the redwood forest with ahem... absolutely zero wifi. I could have been eaten by a bear and no one would have known. As I looked up in awe at the tallest trees in the world I had this fearlessness sprout within me. I was ready. Ready take my brand to the next level, to let go of people and to vibrate higher and I couldn't do that by holding on to situations and relationships attached to anything contradictory of who I want to become.

Everything in 2017 has changed. Everything; my postal code, my relationships, my entire being, even my brand has a totally different concept. If you have been with me from the beginning you'll know that my tee's once had phrases like 'Alcohol you later' to now being phrases like 'The universe has my back'. My blogs got way deep, I started a podcast!! And I'm starting The Spiritual Girl Gang Mastermind group in Jan. 2018. 

This year hands down has been the roughest year in my life but also the most beautiful in terms of growth. Not having my mom around, entrepreneurship, and life in general is not easy. I want to end this by saying I'm not sad, very much emotional but not sad. The universe fucking looooves me, so much that it blessed me with 30 years on earth with her. Blessed me with her strength, the same kind heart, her hustle, the same loving aura you feel simply by being in our presence and although the universe forgot to bless me with her cooking skills maybe I'll have that skill set next lifetime... As of this lifetime, I AM READY. Ready to be the woman I have always dreamed about, ready to live a 100% purposeful life, ready to awaken other souls, ready to see the Killem With Chic brand on celebs, ready to live financially free and ready to live a surreal and magical life. 2018, I am so ready!  

mariela torres
mariela torres


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