Me, myself and 3 dudes

by mariela torres February 01, 2018

Have you ever heard that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime? I have, and have experienced all three... 

Your first love usually happens early on in life; your teenage and early 20s. This is the person that you think you'll end up with forever and in most cases end up dating for a long time because we convince ourselves that this is how a relationship / love is supposed to be. We simply don't know any better. The second love is the 'hard love' this relationship brings up a lot of pain, lies, and a lot of valuable lessons about ourselves. This love usually becomes a cycle you'll repeat the same issues over and over again. This is the love that will teach us how to grow. We'll experience pain and what you really need in your next relationship. It is unhealthy and surrounded by a lot of drama. The third love is the one that comes our way when no one is looking. It's the one that no one expects, the love that will surprise you and will make any negative idea we once had about love, just disappear. This love will not be complicated like past loves, it's considered to be your ‘easy love’ the love that is simple with no complications, it just flows and for the first time feels 100% right.  

It's 12am and my third love is sleeping peacefully right next to me. He looks beautiful and I feel so lucky to have him by my side. Since Valentines Day is a few days away I thought I'd share my L O V E stories with ya. 

My first love lasted 10 years. It wasn't the most romantic relationship but we definitely hit it off from the beginning. We instantly became best friends and shortly after started a romantic relationship. We lived together, got each others names tattooed on our bodies, (yeah, never again...) got engaged and started looking for a place to buy cause that's 'what you do.' We lived a good life, we drove around nice cars and lived in high rise buildings most early 20 year olds only dream of. We got along great yet were / are complete opposites, both wanting different things in life. I'll always remember a mutual friend commenting "you guys are perfect, I don't get why you're breaking up?" Nothing was really wrong with the relationship we simply grew apart. It became mundane. We were going through the motions. It was comfortable and convenient and I wanted magic. I have said it once and I will say it again; too many things in life are mediocre love shouldn't be one of them. I'd like to add that after 3 years of being broken up, I know we can still count on each other. 

My second love. Ohhhhh what a ride. This man took my heart, tossed it around and turned it inside out. We were on and off more than a light switch. He made me feel like the most beautiful, sexiest, smartest, funniest, women in the world but something always felt off. We had a long distance relationship, we'd reunite (1-3x a month) and have a passionate, beautiful, spontaneous adventure. He brought me life but he was also FULL of lies and secrets. We'd break up and days later he'd buy me a plane ticket to meet him somewhere... "we're completely fucked" we'd say to one another while sipping champagne on the back of a taxi cab in different city. I honestly felt like a fraud; here I was preaching women empowerment but couldn't let go of a man who lives over 1,270 thousand miles away that repeatedly kept lying and breaking my heart. After it finally ended I learned so many lessons, the most important; trust my intuition, if something feels off that's because it is. I grew tremendously, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and gained a lot of knowledge about who I am. It wasn't the healthiest relationship but he was there for me every time I needed him. He will forever be my most grand adventure. 

And then there was numero tres! Mi amor! People have always told me I'm the nicest person they have ever met, they are completely wrong... he is. He is an incredible human with the most kindest heart and soul, I don't know a single person that thinks otherwise, EVERYONE loves him. Our relationship feels real, passionate, alive, deep, secure, honest, rare, authentic, calm, peaceful, fun, adventurous, beautiful, magical... it feels like laying out at the beach on a summer night looking up at a star lit up filled sky while Harvest Moon by Neil Young plays in the background. Basically how love SHOULD feel. This is it, this is the love I have been waiting for. 

I mainly wanted to share this for all the people who are feeling heartbroken, let down, disappointed, thinking "oh well... I guess this is it." Don't give up on love, don't give up on magic, don't give up on the relationship of your dreams. Heartbreak, pain, suffering is simply just part of life. Trust me I have been there countless times. (I didn't even mention all the in-between dudes that played short cameo's in my life) Heart break after heart break, I kept an open heart and that's what got me to finding lucky number 3. Don't let a past "fuck up" sabotage what's yet to come. True love is the best thing in the world and it is so worth waiting for. 

mariela torres
mariela torres


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