Refuse to live a unlived life

by mariela torres September 13, 2016

Refuse to live a unlived life

It’s Monday morning, I was up late till about 3am working so I decided to stay in bed till about 11am. I thought to myself how fucking lucky am I? I don’t have to be at a job that I have to clock into at a certain time. I can literally be “chilling with no make up on” all day if I want to.

It wasn't always this way though, a little over a year ago I had a job that I absolutely hated going to. I would jokingly tell my co workers “If I don’t come back it’s because I hung myself in the bathroom” and keep in mind that I was the boss. I vividly remember standing in front of my cash wrap with thoughts like “This can’t be it, this can’t be my life forever, there has to be more” and lastly thinking “Fuck it, I’m putting in my two weeks tomorrow” I had no idea what I was going to do but I had to stop denying myself from the life I wanted to live. I worked with an amazing group of people, I had the coolest superiors, got free high end clothing and made great money but it was mundane, routine, and I had zero passion for what I was doing, I was dead inside. The minute I walked off of those elegant marbled floors I felt my vigorous spirit come back to life.

I heard this statistic this morning which also motivated me to write this blog post; Most heart attacks hit during the early hours of Monday morning between 4am-10am. Sad, right? So many people hate going to their job.

My mom passed away from a heart attack last November so whenever I hear anything ‘heart attack’ related she automatically comes to mind. What made this statistic really strike a chord in me was that my mom had been on vacation for a couple of weeks before her heart attack, she passed away the day before she was supposed to go back to work… My mom that I was so blessed to have in this world never complained about work, but I know she was fatigued and completely drained by it.

I did some more fact-finding and came across this study by NY Daily News; Over 70% of US workers are unhappy at their job. What the fuck! More than half of us are unhappy yet we go to a job every single day and for what, a fucking paycheck? I get it, you have bills, payments and maybe some kiddos you have to take care of but you HAVE to understand that you weren’t born to just pay bills. YOU ARE ALIVE! Don’t take that for granted. Sorry to break it to you, kid but you aren’t going to live forever, you aren’t immortal. You will die one day. Do the thing(s) that you are good at, that bring you joy and happiness before you do. The universe, God whatever it is that you do or don’t believe in created YOU to contribute YOU to this planet.

I started Killem With Chic with only $400. I think most people have this connotation that you have to have money to start something. I didn’t have that, I didn’t have shit. What I did have, was a dream and a fearless decision to go after it. I’m proud to say that Killem With Chic is my full time job now. I’d like to add that whenever you are pursuing something make sure you are doing something with purpose. Witty t-shirts and clothes are great and they both have me walking around lit up with joy but Killem With Chic for me is so much more, and it’s the main reason why I started this blog; For now it’s my way of inspiring, empowering and connecting with others. With that being said… Girrrrrl let me tell you, pursuing your dream is fucking hard, but it’s your dream, don’t give up on that thing that makes you feel alive. It may sound ridiculous at first but it’s not nearly as ridiculous as going to a job you hate everyday that might give you a heart attack… You live ONE time, my darlin’ refuse to live a unlived life.




mariela torres
mariela torres